HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Just had a long-good-catch-up-heart-to-heart-girls talk with good friends yesterday after service and I thought about a few things myself that night.

And I figured, it's not the right time for a relationship yet but since I'm sort of "of age" to think about these kinds of things, I felt for once that I'd ought to seriously consider the kind of person I want to be married to in the future.

I know it's weird to think of these things when there are more pressing issues like IB per say, but hey, it makes sense to plan for your future when you're free.
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Every time people ask me the question "hey Danielle, when do you think is the correct time for dating" or "when do you want to get married" I realise that I rarely think of these things though I think unconsciously of the subject of "love" pretty often. And at the same time, I always feel like all the guys around me are either my good friends which I like but don't "like-like" or crappy boogers that I can't be bothered to take a second look at. A few do hover within the range of "hey I might come to like you, but erm, maybe not after all?" kind but usually I end up thinking that it's best I don't involve myself with these people.

So then, I end up scanning my memories of my friends or random people for casual references, but then I divert and think of other things, especially things like "what kind of guy will do this for me" and "nobody's ever done that for me before" or "the last time I thought this way of these guys but they ended up to be insensitive, self-centered freaks"

I though at first "maybe it's my problem that I'm not exactly a very likable girl" when I considered my school, but then I realised that my school doesn't have any guy who's worthy of any good girl. And I honestly think that I may not be very pretty or sociable but truthfully I'm not some loose wanton who goes around seeking attention, and I prioritise the right things such as studies and Jesus, and you gotta admit that realistically speaking, I'm not the ugliest girl in the world.

So obviously, the next pool of people that I'm within would be the church. But again, I realised that there isn't anyone that I particularly like and there isn't anyone who has done anything that special for only me that I'd take note of. I have to confess, the guys in church are wayyyyyyyy better than any other groups of guys I've met. But technically, they treat all girls well(at least in my opinion) because it's the general protocol.

Ideally, I'd like to think that two people who get married in the future should meet at a young age because it's like they grew up together and they know each other well and they don't actually start dating although they like each other until the time is absolutely right and when the special moment comes marriage is ordained unto them and they become one in the presence of God and many witnesses during their wedding.
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...but well, it seems like this hasn't really happened to me yet…

So whenever people pop such questions to me I often end up asking myself whether I will be single forever because I start to think of my forever alone moments…(e.g how I often walk in the rain alone with no one offering to share their umbrella with me) But I truly hope I will marry someone I love who has a heart for God and for me, and who will rise up to protect his loved ones with nobility and courage…

Yes it's true, often, I am the one in the corner of the crowded room or at the back of the crowd by myself, listening to everything that's going on… I keep quiet, but I pay attention and I hear what people say. That is why, I will always remember the people who say to me "Hey, don't stand there, come here and join us" even if I don't end up joining them. I hope one day, someone I love will say that to me, because it shows that he has noticed me of his own accord and has chosen to extend his hand of friendship to me. I guess I just have an eye for such details.

Sometimes, I don't know if it's me or God, but I always hear a voice that tells me "the rarest find is found by the bravest treasurer", "the most fragrant flower is sought by the most beautiful butterfly", "The hidden princess is always discovered by the King of Kings".
I'm not sure if this means that I will find a good person I love one day, but I'd like to think that one day, someone will come and sweep me right off my feet (metaphorically, of course).

I hope that I can meet this person I will love soon, maybe when I graduate to Arrow, maybe in the last month of this year or so and I do hope that he'll find me in the place I want to be found-the church.

A butterfly landed.1:00 AM
I love the way you are.♥