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Date : Monday, November 26, 2012 HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Just had a long-good-catch-up-heart-to-heart-girls talk with good friends yesterday after service and I thought about a few things myself that night.
And I figured, it's not the right time for a relationship yet but since I'm sort of "of age" to think about these kinds of things, I felt for once that I'd ought to seriously consider the kind of person I want to be married to in the future. I know it's weird to think of these things when there are more pressing issues like IB per say, but hey, it makes sense to plan for your future when you're free. - - Every time people ask me the question "hey Danielle, when do you think is the correct time for dating" or "when do you want to get married" I realise that I rarely think of these things though I think unconsciously of the subject of "love" pretty often. And at the same time, I always feel like all the guys around me are either my good friends which I like but don't "like-like" or crappy boogers that I can't be bothered to take a second look at. A few do hover within the range of "hey I might come to like you, but erm, maybe not after all?" kind but usually I end up thinking that it's best I don't involve myself with these people. So then, I end up scanning my memories of my friends or random people for casual references, but then I divert and think of other things, especially things like "what kind of guy will do this for me" and "nobody's ever done that for me before" or "the last time I thought this way of these guys but they ended up to be insensitive, self-centered freaks" I though at first "maybe it's my problem that I'm not exactly a very likable girl" when I considered my school, but then I realised that my school doesn't have any guy who's worthy of any good girl. And I honestly think that I may not be very pretty or sociable but truthfully I'm not some loose wanton who goes around seeking attention, and I prioritise the right things such as studies and Jesus, and you gotta admit that realistically speaking, I'm not the ugliest girl in the world. So obviously, the next pool of people that I'm within would be the church. But again, I realised that there isn't anyone that I particularly like and there isn't anyone who has done anything that special for only me that I'd take note of. I have to confess, the guys in church are wayyyyyyyy better than any other groups of guys I've met. But technically, they treat all girls well(at least in my opinion) because it's the general protocol. Ideally, I'd like to think that two people who get married in the future should meet at a young age because it's like they grew up together and they know each other well and they don't actually start dating although they like each other until the time is absolutely right and when the special moment comes marriage is ordained unto them and they become one in the presence of God and many witnesses during their wedding. …... …... ...but well, it seems like this hasn't really happened to me yet… So whenever people pop such questions to me I often end up asking myself whether I will be single forever because I start to think of my forever alone moments…(e.g how I often walk in the rain alone with no one offering to share their umbrella with me) But I truly hope I will marry someone I love who has a heart for God and for me, and who will rise up to protect his loved ones with nobility and courage… Yes it's true, often, I am the one in the corner of the crowded room or at the back of the crowd by myself, listening to everything that's going on… I keep quiet, but I pay attention and I hear what people say. That is why, I will always remember the people who say to me "Hey, don't stand there, come here and join us" even if I don't end up joining them. I hope one day, someone I love will say that to me, because it shows that he has noticed me of his own accord and has chosen to extend his hand of friendship to me. I guess I just have an eye for such details. Sometimes, I don't know if it's me or God, but I always hear a voice that tells me "the rarest find is found by the bravest treasurer", "the most fragrant flower is sought by the most beautiful butterfly", "The hidden princess is always discovered by the King of Kings". I'm not sure if this means that I will find a good person I love one day, but I'd like to think that one day, someone will come and sweep me right off my feet (metaphorically, of course). I hope that I can meet this person I will love soon, maybe when I graduate to Arrow, maybe in the last month of this year or so and I do hope that he'll find me in the place I want to be found-the church. A butterfly landed.1:00 AM
Date : Sunday, November 4, 2012 Surprise! It's November
School is out! :) and I've been in a great mood recently :) But at times like these, I start to think of things that aren't important… things like… … … It's been a cool year, 10 months has passed like a breeze! Looking back, there were both bad and good memories. 2012 has been a pretty interesting year for me because of the church. 2012 LEGACY was epic. This year's camp passed WAYYY quicker than last year's. and now I'm official! 16 haha. darn I wish I could be 16 forever. Sounds like a pretty good idea to me. But I guess life goes on? I don't really have much to say, sometimes I feel like my life is generally boring in stark comparison to those people on TV. I guess I'm pretty low-profile. But I do notice a lot of things around me, and sometimes I just pretend that I don't know for the sake of maintaining normality… I'm not as "slow" as people think I am. True, I don't keep up with trends as well as my friends do, but it doesn't mean that my interpretive abilities are equally ignorant. I do realise what generally happens around me most of the time. It's just that, sometimes I pretend that I don't know because I don't want to make things awkward between people. I do like being ignorant of certain things too. I don't feel the need to know everything unless it regards my friends or myself, or people I'm interested in. my point of saying this is to tell people that I'm no fool. Sometimes, I feel that some people treat me too lightly with no importance because they feel that i'm someone who "doesn't know anything." But I do. I just choose to live the way I want to. Well, I guess I don't have any major upcoming trips. I'm not going to Israel this year… ): Reason? well if anyone wants to know they can just ask me… I think I need more friends/good publicity haha. Sometimes when I need help from the people around me I find that I don't actually know anyone in certain situations… Since I don't usually do this, I guess now is a good time to talk about something that has been bothering me for some time. I have a friend, whom I met in my old church when I was 9 going on to 10. He is three years older than me and I remember his name and face. I did like him very much as a friend, but one day for unknown reasons I never saw him ever again, and I never knew it would be the last time I would ever see him. I always felt sad, even when I had lots of favour and new found friends in my new church, that i never got to say goodbye properly. We talked a lot as kids and I never actually understood what he told me when I was young, but I remember what he said and when I think about it now, I know what he means. He always said that he felt like "a black sheep" wherever he went, and that he just never found the motivation to do things in life because "everyone stares at me with that kind of look." I don't remember much, but as a kid I was really aloof and dense and right now I think back and I regret for not understanding and not saying things I should have said. At least, he attended church last time and in the church there was imperfection, but still, there was good company, but now, I don't know where he is and I heard a lot of strange things about him. My parents never approved of him as a friend, and now when I think back, I guess I could understand why. I never saw him again, but I heard that he went wayward and mixed with bad company. I even heard that now, he's a father? I hope this isn't true, because he's only 19. and I'm not saying that it's bad, but to settle down at 19 in a place like Singapore? I'm not too sure about that. I regret not understanding what he said last time. perhaps, if I did, I could direct him back to Jesus, and then maybe, he would be saved from the darkness? I don't know. If he's happy, then I guess I'm happy for him… but is he really happy? with what is at hand? I don't know. I just want to say this to anyone who reads this, if you have a friend like that, please do something, save him or her from the darkness of this world, don't keep quiet. and if you are one of the people who feel this way, like you never fit in, you're always being bullied… well, the Shine auditorium at shaw towers is open for service every 11 am on sundays, you're not alone, and there are people in church who will love you for who you are, and Jesus is here for everyone. He is for you too. Lastly, if you are somehow that friend that I was talking about and somehow, somewhere in the world you are reading this, I hope you remember who "Danielle" is. And please don't go any further with any of those bad friends anymore… I am truly sorry that I never understood what you said. But I do now, and I hope that wherever you are, may you know that Jesus really loves you and you are precious to him, don't do anything stupid with your life. A butterfly landed.8:22 PM
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Welcome. Danielle :) Jesus is the center. butterflies, music, dance and drawing. art. :) SWEETS, and flowers. pink roses are my favourite. 27/9 :) school of the arts, singapore, music, piano grade 8.:D an occasional drama queen who wants to become prettier and maintain good grades for the rest of her school years. I want to learn how to fly. June 2010 September 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 April 2013 - YVETTE<3 - NATALIE<3 - Claudia:D - Rachael:D - Joshua:D - Lydia :D - Denise :D - Jasmine:) - Clarise:) - Liyan:) - Cara:) - Mindy:)   Music Playlist at MixPod.com |
