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Date : Wednesday, April 18, 2012 thinking
in a few days, it will be my math exam. but heh what am i doing now? anyway, there's no school tmr, so i promise i will use the full day to do productive things because Jesus will help me :) yes i'm in my thinking mode again. just experienced a few slips here and there, but its nothing too great. i can feel myself relying on Jesus and the finished work more and more. none of myself. because lately i havent been sad for no reason. but i have been a little sensitive these days. especially to things that insult my appearance. sometimes i feel like my friends in school will never understand how i feel about myself, because they are not me. and usually its over petty things that honestly, are not big enough to the extent of fueling a desire to kill and destroy. nowadays, i very often feel the difference between the church and the world. the church is a safe haven to me. it is where my family is and where i dont have to hear swear words and be put under their influence nor hear negativity and be irritated by it all the time. the world is an ugly place where you cant force people to try and understand your situation or tell them about Christ cause they just wont understand. and people will force their ways on you and you have to keep on reminding yourself that Jesus is the biggest one or you will lose your head. i hope no one is offended by this because i dont mean to offend anyone. i'm just stating my perspective, which anyone may completely disagree with but it's just my small opinion. no judgement. on another hand, why do people try to be who they aren't? why do they say one thing and mean another? are they for real or are they faking it? i don't know, but i am confused and i leave this to God. is it insecurity, that causes one to do things and gain happiness from the sadness of others through unscrupulous triumph? or jealousy, that causes one to lose one's mind and sin, betraying even their closest friends just to satisfy their envy? as far as possible, i will not fall to that. it is a promise i made to God. and I am safe in His and Jesus hands. I don't want to be like them. even if they are truly prettier and more popular and more "accepted". I want to be myself. and I have Jesus and he is the biggest one. i have to keep reminding myself. I'll dare to be different. and make a change in my own way. i am different. A butterfly landed.6:23 AM
Date : Wednesday, April 11, 2012 it's 10:20. i think i have this strange habit of liking to blog late at night. but i think although i'm physically tired, i tend to think of a lot of things at night. which means my cerebral activity is high which is maybe why i dont fall asleep that easily added on to the fact that i'm a really light sleeper. but the fact remains that i'm awake right now. just heard that there might be some tsunami tommorow. i doubt it's actually gonna hit. but just thinking about it is cool. we'll all die. technically, Jesus could come tommorow. I don't know. i don't want to die yet. I want to be married. worry free. have a pair of twins. tell my grandchildren my childhood memories since i can recall them from when i was 4. tell my daughter about my first love. live life. i'm young. but i have to face the fact that i can't be a child anymore. life goes on. i don't want to grow up, but yet i'm curious about adulthood. i have always felt like i was ten. in fact, i would describe myself as a 7-year-old child with an exceptionally high intellect beyond my age. but i'm 170cm, 50kg. i'm not a child. i miss the kindergarten days where i walked on tin-can stilts on the grass playground and outshone my piano class. i regret not treasuring my old room painted pink, my toys and my accessories which i so ungratefully cut up, played with as a child. i miss the early primary school days where i was the loudest, most outspoken in class with a voice so loud that it made everyone else sound soft. i miss the days where i just went to the playground every single day, hung on the monkey bars and daydreamed. i miss the days where i simply approached boys in my estate without a trace of self-conciousness in my appearance, never expecting that they would enjoy my presence as a friend even though i was unreasonable at times. i remember my first love. i remember that feeling. i remember all the silly things i did to get his attention, the boldness and audaciousness of the extents i would go to, deluded in innocent naivete that no one would refuse me. and then i forgot him, i moved house, and I grew up. A butterfly landed.7:19 AM
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Welcome. Danielle :) Jesus is the center. butterflies, music, dance and drawing. art. :) SWEETS, and flowers. pink roses are my favourite. 27/9 :) school of the arts, singapore, music, piano grade 8.:D an occasional drama queen who wants to become prettier and maintain good grades for the rest of her school years. I want to learn how to fly. June 2010 September 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 April 2013 - YVETTE<3 - NATALIE<3 - Claudia:D - Rachael:D - Joshua:D - Lydia :D - Denise :D - Jasmine:) - Clarise:) - Liyan:) - Cara:) - Mindy:)   Music Playlist at MixPod.com |
