curled up on my bed, 10:55 Pm, thinking of stuff again.
thinking of life in general.


im just a girl
who lives in a little flat
in a block
in an estate
near an MRT station
somewhere in the west side
of Singapore,
a part of Asia
a part of the world I know
a part of Earth
which is a planet in the solar system
which is part of the Milky Way Galaxy
which is part of the universe
and beyond.


these days i've been really frustrated.
sometimes i think i let things get to me.
i hate people. i don't like noise and irritation and i like being alone.


but yet i want to be loved, i want to be admired and dignified, respected for who I am, recognised by people and included.
that indescribable feeling.


i hate how i think that no one understands how i feel or what i'm trying to say.
yes. even YOU.


i hate people who wallop in self pity all the time, i hate people who are sickeningly childish, i hate people who don't have that maturity and spiritual understanding.
i dont want to hate.
but when i think about it i keep getting angry for no reason, i feel like its my fault and then i get angrier because it's not my fault that i feel angry cause i can't control it.
i wish i could hide away in some corner of the world and live by myself. with no people and no digital life.
and i'll not have to know anyone or feel hurt when i get pimples on my face cause no one's gonna judge and the standard of beauty is what i say it is. and then i will be the most beautiful person in my world.


just me, a house, a large Garden and God.


its tiring to have to live and have hope for a better future.


and compete with all this and compare and all that just shut up and leave me alone and shut up i dont want to hear about how its my job to do this and whatnot.


if i have to bear with so much just to be accepted and have many many friends and get to know everything then i dont want it at all. but why is it that everyone else can know it but me and everyone else can attain that but me? it seems as though theyre not actually doing anything to get it and no matter what i do and what i believe in i havent seen anything.


come quickly Jesus.
and all those who condemn you in my presence will receive their due fate.
Clean my soul of all this hate and anger.
Fill me with love.

Labels: just leave me alone

A butterfly landed.7:55 AM
I love the way you are.♥